


Falling Leaves

by omiomipuffs



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, College, Drinking to Cope, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Minor Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Worth Issues, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:21:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27970730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omiomipuffs/pseuds/omiomipuffs
Summary: There's something surreal about watching the last leaf on a dead tree fall......A KageHina College AU in which the two must navigate through their own issues and how they interfere with their relationship......I'm not exceptional at summaries; I promise it's better than I make it out to be. Make sure to read the tags!
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Kudos: 5





	Falling Leaves

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warnings: 
> 
> No trigger warnings for this chapter, but later chapters will include: 
> 
> \- Drinking of alcohol to cope
> 
> \- Accidental attempted suicide (reckless actions under the influence)

There's something surreal about watching the last leaf on a dead tree fall. The small piece of life slowly fluttering away from the decaying tree that spent time cultivating the tiny leaflet, having watched other spirals of dulling green float away before it. Knowing it's time has come for it, too, to drop away.  
  
Still, it always leaves something behind. And maybe something grows from it. Something fuller, greener. The branch's leaves healthier. Just as beautiful as the tree that came before it, nurtured gently by the regrets of old, fallen leaves into something even the bitter ghost of a frail tree can admire.

-

Hinata Shouyou is not a quitter.  
  
He's _not._  
  
Even so, he still slams his laptop shut, running a hand down his face, exasperated. Why did writing papers have to be so tasking? "I'm not quitting," he groans to himself, roughly raking a hand through his wild curls. "Just taking a break."  
  
_Sure, a break after you've written four words,_ his mind quips back at him, and he smacks the side of his head. "You shut it," he snaps, and giggles stupidly at how he would seem to someone watching from afar. He didn't even want to look at his laptop, the lid decorated with haphazardly placed stickers, some overlapping in places. The sight of the thing made him want to run away to Argentina and change his name, if it meant he could bypass this godforsaken assignment. He sighs, coming back to his rational self, and reaches for the laptop to open it back up, ready to bite the bullet, when his phone suddenly pings from where it's resting on his bed.  
  
_Thank you, thank the heavens for whoever just texted, you've saved me from an eternity of torment,_ he thinks in a rush as he pushes off from his desk and lets his chair roll him to the bed, snatching his phone and eyeing the contact name beaming back at him from the screen. It's Kageyama, asking if Hinata wants to go get coffee with him at the small, homey place the couple frequents, down the block from the ravenette's dorm building. He swipes on the screen, quickly pressing the call button next to Kageyama's name, and picking at his cuticles as he waits for the other to answer the phone.  
  
"Hello?" A rough voice greets him through the speaker.  
  
"Kageyama! You're such a life saver," Hinata immediately relaxes into his chair, groaning and leaning his head back so that he sees his room upside down. "I have this assignment that I absolutely do not want to do," he gripes, pouting at his popcorn ceiling. The apartment he rents isn't exactly luxurious; although, for a college student, it's better than what most have to put up with. "And you texted at the exact right time," he continues, drumming his fingers on his thigh and watching the small indents the pads of them make as he presses down, skin around his nail turning white. He hears a throaty chuckle from the other line.  
  
"Dumbass, you're going to have to do it at some point," Kageyama points out, and Hinata scowls playfully, feeling stupid when he realizes there's nothing to direct his jokingly agitated expression at. "Yeahhh, I knowww," he draws it out, infusing as much disappointment in his voice as possible. He perks up when he remembers what he called for. "So you wanna meet up today? It feels like it's been forever," he comments, swinging his feet.  
  
"Yeah, I miss you," Kageyama admits, and Hinata imagines him fiddling with a strand of his hair in embarrassment. It's an endearing thought. "I miss you, too."  
  
"Can you be there in fifteen minutes?"  
  
"Yeah! Definitely," Hinata assures, already out of his seat and bounding to his dresser, inspecting his face in the mirror mounted above it.  
  
"Cool, I'll see you then," Kageyama finishes quickly, hanging up before Hinata could bubble out a goodbye, and Hinata stares at the call ended screen for a moment before going back to looking in the mirror, not thinking much of the rushed end to the call.  
  
He scrunches his nose when he notices the concealer he applied earlier to the small smattering of freckles on the bridge of his nose has rubbed off, what with all of the face-touching he's done since he put it on, and sighs. Kageyama hates when he covers them, but Hinata hates the way they subtly frame his eyes. Grumbling in discontentment, he swipes the applicator over his nose, gently tapping the makeup in. Tossing the concealer back onto his messy dresser, he grabs his apartment keys and slips on his shoes, tapping out a text to Kageyama that he's leaving now as he closes the door behind him and locks it.  
  
Hinata opens Spotify, putting on a random playlist before shoving his phone into his hoodie pocket and unlocking his bike from the rack, waving to his neighbors unloading groceries from their car. A mental list forms in his mind of things he needs to do today, or at least soon, and grocery shopping is quickly added to the top. He would probably forget it before even managed to get another thing on the list.  
  
The bike ride there is kind of torturous, the cold December air whipping around him. His fingers are nearly frozen as he shakily steps off the bike, leaving it unlocked in the rack, as it's in plain view of the large window spanning the length of the front of the cafe. He's not sure if he could even manage to set a lock, his hands tremble so badly. He blinks against the wind, glancing annoyed at the sky for having to be so gloomy, before scanning for Kageyama and lighting up as he sees him leaning against the concrete wall next to the entrance, scrolling through his phone.  
  
"Kageyama!" Hinata yells, jogging up to him in a newly found burst of energy, and beams up at him when he looks up, startled, from his phone. Kageyama seems to register what happened, and he slides his phone into his back pocket, feeling his heart swell at the sight of his boyfriend smiling up at him like he's the only person in the world. He might as well be, to Hinata. "Hinata," he gently smiles back, holding his arms open, and Hinata buries himself in them as Kageyama wraps them around him, threading a hand through that fiery hair. Hinata shoves his face into Kageyama's chest, unashamedly inhaling the scent of his laundry detergent, and stomping his feet excitedly when Kageyama presses an amused kiss to the top of his head. He pulls away after a minute, his face flushed from being squished into Kageyama's body.  
  
"Gotten your fill?" The ravenette snickers.  
  
"Never," Hinata replies, sticking his tongue out and grabbing Kageyama's hand, pulling him along as he yanks open the cafe door, the welcoming heat of the building enveloping him. He can feel the relief to the tips of his toes, the warmth that settles in his bones, and he suddenly never wants to set foot outside again. He'd stay in this bubble of comfort forever if he could.  
  
The manager would probably charge him for that, though.  
  
"Tobio-kun!" A voice immediately calls from behind the counter. Think of the devil.  
  
"Miya-san," Kageyama nods, nonchalantly waving to the faux blonde. Atsumu Miya hurries to come greet them, violently swinging the door leading out from the counter in his wake.  
  
"How have ya been?" Atsumu quickly makes conversation, eager to receive human interaction. Slow business, what can he say? "Oh, also, take a seat anywhere ya'd like," he tacks on, trying not to neglect his duties as a worker. Kageyama waves him off, leading him and Hinata to a corner table. Hinata lets his hand go to slide into the booth, eyeing Kageyama as he does the same.  
  
"I've been good, a little busy with college. Same with Shouyou."  
  
Hinata feels his heart flutter. He _loves_ it when Kageyama calls him by his first name in public. He doesn't know why, it's just something about the familiarity. He playfully kicks Kageyama's leg under the table and hopes he gets the message, and Kageyama glances back at him, a slight crinkle forming at the edge of his eyes as he tries not to smile.  
  
"Aw, I see. Don't push yerselves too hard," Atsumu sympathizes, giving Hinata a light punch in the shoulder. They both nod, settling into their seats.  
  
"How about you?" Hinata genuinely inquires. He recalls Atsumu ranting about some relationship issues with his boyfriend, Sakusa, a while back, and with his busy schedule, he never got around to checking up on him. He mentally smacks himself for being a shitty friend.  
  
"Oh, I'm alright! Omi-kun just got back in town from visiting some family in Kyushu, some big vacation thing, so he's picking me up after my shift is over," he excitedly explains. "Osamu has been up my ass about working 'properly' lately," he mutters under his breath, running his thumb along his neck in a he's-going-to-be-the-death of-me kind of way.  
  
"Hey, be nice," Hinata laughs. "He's the one making all of the onigiri." Atsumu leans his hip on the side of the table, the thing shifting under his weight suddenly, and he gasps in surprise. The two of them burst into laughter, Atsumu desperately trying to regain his balance, and Kageyama snorts into his hand.  
  
"I do feel kinda bad for him, though," Hinata continues. "Isn't he still saving up to buy his own restaurant?"  
  
"Yeah, I mean, it's going pretty well right now. Suna is supporting him any way he can. Don't worry 'bout him too much, I'll smack him upside the head if he pushes himself too hard. I'm not a total ass- Oh!" Atsumu interrupts himself, and Kageyama startles at the abrupt change in volume. "Tomorrow, me 'n Omi-Omi are goin' to the festival downtown, if you guys w'na come with us."  
  
Kageyama shakes his head before Hinata has a chance to consider it.  
  
"Shouyou and I are gonna be hanging out, and we haven't seen each other for a while," Kageyama explains, and Atsumu visibly deflates. Hinata feels bad, wanting to go, but wanting to spend alone time with Kageyama more. A cold December festival or cuddled up inside with your boyfriend? An obvious choice. He realizes, though, that they never talked about doing anything tomorrow, and feels a small pang of gratefulness towards Kageyama. Sometimes it was just easier to say that they were doing something or other and that's final. The couple could afford a day off together.  
  
"Well I'll text ya guys next time somethin' comes up. We needa do somethin' together," Atsumu whines, his hands floating to his hips.  
  
"Definitely," Hinata agrees, nodding. He really does want to spend some more time with Atsumu, having been introduced to him through Kageyama. Although they often come to this cafe, Atsumu is usually in the back, or business is too heavy for him to really notice the two. Despite this, he seems like fun, AND he's someone that his boyfriend tolerates. From the minimal time Hinata has spent with him at parties, or the few midnight phone calls he's spent letting the blonde air out his dramatic grievances that change from day to day, Atsumu really is someone he'd like to spend more time with.  
  
"Tsumu!" A disembodied voice calls from the kitchen, and Atsumu perks up, turning to wave quickly at the couple before rushing to help whoever yelled for him. _Probably Osamu,_ Hinata thinks.  
  
"He's always a handful," Kageyama sighs as Atsumu stomps to the kitchen, already bitching with his twin from outside of the swinging doors.  
  
"He's _fun,_ " Hinata clarifies, laughing when Kageyama shoots him an exasperated look.  
  
"Sorry about making plans on your behalf, by the way," the ravenette rubs the back of his neck, embarrassed. "I just figured- I thought..." He trails off, bringing his hand back to the table to fidget with his fingers.  
  
"Oh, it's okay! You thought right, dummy. I'd rather spend tomorrow with you than going to a festival. Let's binge-watch movies, 'kay?" Hinata nudges his boyfriend's leg with his foot gently under the table, reaching for the hand Kageyama's fiddling with to hold it. "Do you wanna spend the night tonight?"  
  
"Don't you have an assignment to do?" Kageyama raises a brow, tapping his thumb over the back of Hinata's hand.  
  
"Well, yeah, but you can still come over. It won't take me more than a few hours," Hinata juts his bottom lip out, finally being able to pout at the man himself.  
  
"Mm..."  
  
A thought occurs to him. "Do you not want to come over?" He mumbles, looking down, and suddenly very interested in the design of the tabletop. Kageyama's hand tightens over his.  
  
"What? Of course I want to come over, dumbass. I'm just worried that I'll distract you from getting your work done."  
  
"Oh," Hinata breathes, looking up again. When did he become so sensitive? "Okay," a smile blooms on his face. Kageyama becomes increasingly confused.  
  
"'Okay?' Shouyou? Are you, like, okay? Are you saying I'll distract you?"  
  
"No! No, sorry, not at all. I was just happy that you wanna come over still. Not that you ever didn't, it just sounded like it. It sounded like, you maybe, didn't want to. So I felt- I panicked. No, not panicked, I kind of deflated? Yeah," he babbles, each sentence trying to correct a perceived flaw he made in the last one. Kageyama chuckles, effectively shutting him up.  
  
"You're so dumb," he sighs. "I missed it."  
  
"I can't tell if you just said something good or bad."  
  
"Good, obviously. What part about missing you flew right over your head?"  
  
"I dunno, you haven't exactly made it very clear," Hinata jokes, turning up his nose and playfully glaring down it. His height makes it so he can really only see eye-level with Kageyama's collarbones, the milky skin of them peeking out from the man's black hoodie, and Hinata wants to kiss them so bad.  
  
"How should I do that?"  
  
Hinata feigns hurt. "By kissing me, obviously," he scoffs, closing his eyes and throwing his hand over his forehead in mock dramaticness. Through his eyelids he sees a shadow loom above him, and he squeaks when he opens his eyes to Kageyama leaning over him, the closeness unexpected.  
  
"Why didn't you say so in the first place?" He asks, pressing his lips softly to Hinata's before pulling away and letting the redhead squish his cheeks between his hands.  
  
"You're supposed to know already," Hinata grumbles.  
  
The statement makes Kageyama's heart clench, and he sucks in a quiet breath. It's a joke, it's only a joke. He knows that. But the familiarity of the statement makes his throat close up for a moment before Hinata's lips are back on his again and he pushes the worry from his mind. His brain has always been a bit over-analytical. _Hinata didn't mean anything by it,_ he tells himself.  
  
"Break it up, lovebirds," Atsumu's voice comes booming comically from the kitchen doorway, interrupting Kageyama's spiraling thoughts, and he has two iced coffees in hand, balancing a plate of pastry looking things on his forearm. "On the house," he smiles as he sets the items down on their table.  
  
Hinata reluctantly pulls away from Kageyama to give a cursory glance at the food, his stomach growling embarrassingly loud. "Thank you!" Hinata exclaims, eyes lighting up at the offering from Atsumu. Kageyama swears he sees Hinata actually glowing with happiness.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, 'Samu said t'just give 'em to ya. Don't expect it to be a regular thing, now," Atsumu lightheartedly jokes, laughing before turning back to the kitchen, assumedly having more to help Osamu with.  
  
"See?" Hinata smiles, turning back to Kageyama with a mouth stuffed full of pastries.  
  
"See what?" He crosses his arms before changing his mind and grabbing the one of the coffees set on the table, bringing it to his lips and eyeing Hinata over the rim of the glass.  
  
"H..he..ghh," Hinata struggles around the food in his mouth. "Nn.."  
  
Kageyama brings his hand over his eyes, sighing. "Swallow your food before you try to speak, idiot."  
  
"Hey," he manages to say between swallows, although somewhat muffled, "you're one to talk."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Remember that one time you shoved like four rice balls in your mouth and almost choked and-"  
  
"That was in high school!"  
  
"SO?"  
  
"I know better now," Kageyama said with finality, taking a moody sip from his coffee.  
  
Hinata eyes the (mostly) full plate of pastries. "I bet I could fit more of those in my mouth than you."  
  
"You're fucking on."  
  
-  
  
The leaves on the tree outside of Hinata's apartment shiver in the harsh wind, and Hinata has never been more grateful to be inside than right now. His space heater is plugged in and situated near his feet under the desk, and he wiggles his toes, happy to have feeling back in them after the walk back to the building, lugging his bike alongside him to stay with Kageyama. The latter is currently under the disheveled covers of Hinata's bed, scrolling through his phone.  
  
"Ugh, it's not fair," Hinata whines, spinning in his chair, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes. "Why do you get to just lay there?"  
  
Kageyama just laughs, letting his phone drop onto his chest. "I'm not the one who waited until the last minute to do my long assignments."  
  
"It's only one of them!"  
  
Kageyama shrugged, picking his phone back up and resuming whatever he had been doing.  
  
"I'm kind of stressed.. it's more work than I thought it would be."  
  
"You did it to yourself," he answered absentmindedly, something on his screen immersing him. Hinata felt his throat tighten.  
  
"Yeah, I know." He says, clipped, and turns back to his laptop, staring at the words on his screen. None of them made any sense.  
  
Hinata Shouyou is a quitter. In this case, anyway.  
  
He closes his laptop gently, not caring if his work saved or not. _I'll just turn in a corrupted file,_ he thinks. He pulls his hoodie sleeves over his hands and clenches his fists. He needs Kageyama. He crawls onto his bed, flopping down on his side next to Kageyama, leaning his on his shoulder and watching him scroll through Instragram, the feed mostly their friends from high school and a few acquaintances from college.  
  
"I need a nap," Hinata complains as he buries his head under one of the pillows, curling tightly into a ball, his knees touching Kageyama's ribs. The ravenette perks up at that, setting his phone on the night stand and rolling to collect his boyfriend, hugging him close, chest to chest.  
  
"Did you finish your assignment?"  
  
Hinata hesitates before shaking his head, not looking up at him.  
  
"You probably should..." He says quietly. "You're gonna fail if you don't."  
  
The redhead grumbles, pulling himself tighter to Kageyama. "Don't wanna talk about that right now," he explains, focusing on the warmth coming from the body next to him instead of the unfinished work worth most of his grade sitting, taunting him from his desk a few feet away. It made him feel panicky, and he desperately wanted Kageyama to change the subject.  
  
"It doesn't matter if you don't-"  
  
"I said I don't want to talk about it right now."  
  
Kageyama just inhales deeply, letting out a short, annoyed breath. Hinata loosens up a bit at that, peeking out from Kageyama's chest. "I'm sorry, I just- I'm just overwhelmed."  
  
"Let's just go to sleep."  
  
Hinata's grip tightens on his sweatshirt. He wishes Kageyama would say something to comfort him. It feels like he's almost... avoiding saying anything overly encouraging. Hinata stays silent, nodding. Sleep, yeah. Sleep would help.  
  
Sleep always helps.  
  
-  
  
Kageyama lays awake, watching his chest elevate a sleeping Hinata up and down with his breaths. He looks so content sleeping, and Kageyama plays gently with a soft strand of Hinata's hair. It had gotten longer since high school, unruly curls shaggy almost to his shoulders, and his front hair pieces fell into his eyes incessantly so. He notices a smudge of something skin-colored, but it's blurry, and he wipes it a bit with his sleeve to find that it's concealer. Hinata's freckles peek slightly out from underneath the makeup, faint and unnoticeable to anyone who doesn't look for too long.  
  
Kageyama loves them. His mind suddenly veers.  
  
He feels sick to his stomach when he remembers Hinata's face earlier, panicked and burned out, his own decisions concerning putting off his work wearing on him. Kageyama hadn't thought much of it, writing it off as something Hinata could take care of himself. He'd let Hinata fall asleep on him, desperately trying to fall into the depths of unconsciousness along with him, but hadn't been able to. Something nudged the back of his mind. Had Hinata wanted something else? He could easily solve the problem by just doing his work.  
  
A creeping sense of unworthiness crawls up Kageyama's spine, and he shifts uncomfortably, pulling Hinata up further on his chest to move his legs into a crooked position. He was definitely overthinking this.  
  
Still, Hinata mumbles something in his sleep, and Kageyama glances down, struck with a wave of admiration for the sleeping form on him. Admiration and...  
  
Anger?  
  
Not at Hinata. He's angry at himself.  
  
Kageyama shuts his eyes then, shoving the thought to the back of his mind with everything else.  
  
Sleep drags him under.

**Author's Note:**

> hey !!! you finally made it to the end of the chapter :] i hope it was enjoyable; i had fun writing it <3 there will be lots more chapters to come, but i don't have a regular update schedule. i'll try to keep them somewhat consistent though! 
> 
> comments are ALWAYS appreciated and make my day; id love to know what you think and what you want, hope, or think will happen. 
> 
> ☆ my twitter is @omiomipuffs ☆


End file.
